THE COMPASSIONATE HELPER

     After reflecting on the underlying cause of stress in September's Monthly Inspirations, we need to keep in mind the important differences we reviewed that exist between our soul and our subconscious in order to pursue our goal of a healthy, well-balanced life.
     Because of our spiritual nature, the soul is moved by compassion as it looks out into the world and yearns to help heal people's suffering. Whether it be an overwhelming crisis such as a natural disaster affecting thousands of people, or simply observing a loved one faced with the struggles of life; an illness, an accident, the ending of a relationship, a job change, financial concerns, the loss of a loved one or watching someone walk through the final stages of their life, the soul is moved by compassion to help.
     This is a noble endeavor when we seek to be of service and leads us further on our spiritual path. However, in order to maintain serenity in our own lives, we must remember that it is still the subconscious, our inner, emotional child who actually has to carry out any plan that the soul originates. This often creates an imbalance as the subconscious struggles to add one more thing to an already full life.
     Can you identify with the challenges that face such a helper? Do you find yourself responding to everyone's problems, seeking to take responsibility and "fix" them, no matter what time of day they call, or how busy your schedule may be? Are you the person everyone turns to in time of need? Does your boss always seek you out, handing you yet one more task above and beyond your normal scope of work, knowing you will handle it well? Do co-workers confide in you, friends and family call you with their problems, and even strangers seek you out, thinking somehow you may have the answers?
     While it may be true that we've become very good at handling problems, when so much of our time is spent helping others, we often forget that we need a life too. And when we've lived in this manner for a long period of time, it has become second nature, we don't even think of saying no and we no longer realize the toll that's taken through our efforts. We overextend ourselves, become very worn-out in the process and eventually suffer from some kind of burn-out. In reality, helping someone in need will always be a healing experience for both people involved when offered from a place within ourselves of strength and balance.
     So we need to be clear on what we really have to offer and set some boundaries. We must assess our life realistically. How much time can we commit? What are our financial resources? How are we holding up emotionally at this time? We may be better equipped to extend ourselves at one time than another, depending on our own life stresses. We understand that if a friend asks us to loan them $500.- and we don't have it, we have to say no. Yet how many times do we overextend ourselves emotionally or physically and "write a bad check" with our energy when we really don't have it to give? It's time to realize the total cost involved in our efforts.
     Then we must make the difficult decision to put ourselves first in our lives. I know this is a foreign concept to someone who has spent their whole life helping others and you may encounter resistance from within at first, but our own well-being must become our first priority. This is not selfish, it is healthy. By all means give as much as you can as often as you're able to do so, but give from a healthy, centered point of balance. Taking care of yourself first will put you in a position to be much more effective in helping, with more energy and greater insight into any circumstance. As we've heard so often when traveling on an airplane, if faced with an emergency, we're instructed to put on our own oxygen mask first before assisting someone else. This is not selfish. It is the only way we will still be there to help others.
     And finally, look at your own response to receiving help. Are you able to ask for help when you're in need or are you reluctant to do so? Do you feel in order to be successful, you must do it all by yourself or else feel as if you've failed because you had to seek assistance? Are you even able to receive a compliment and just say thank you, or do you cut the compliment short and diminish its worth with an, "Oh, it was nothing." It's time for us to recognize our value and give ourselves credit for our accomplishments and compassionate nature. And realize that in asking and receiving assistance, we offer an opportunity to the other person to bring out their highest expression, providing a growth experience for all involved.
     So during this month, assess your involvement with others. Do you come from a healthy point of view? Do you take your own well-being into consideration? Are you able to say no when you really don't have it to give? Are you able to say no without feeling guilty? Do you give yourself credit for all your are able to extend to others and acknowledge the value of your efforts? Are you able to extend the same compassion to your own life as you do to others?
     Take the time to think these ideas through and then begin to integrate them into your life. As always, if you need assistance, join us for one of our upcoming programs to help you gain a deeper understanding of these concepts. It may take some practice before you become comfortable with this new way of thinking, but both your subconscious and your soul will be very grateful for the opportunity to bring out the best in themselves, this time from a healthy perspective. For it is only when we recognize our own value and treat ourselves in a kind and loving manner that we become the truly compassionate helper, a glorious expression of God.

Wishing you the joyful experience of the compassionate helper!

SANDY DALIEGE