THE IMPORTANCE OF HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

     If you've made time to follow through on some of the suggestions we made in February's Monthly Inspiration, by now you're getting a better idea of your own positive qualities and traits and have realized just how much you have to offer in a relationship.
     Although this process of self-realization is actually a life long journey, at some point we become more comfortable and confident with who we are and are now ready to invite someone else to share in our lives.
Since relationships are extremely important to the subconscious, but at the same time can be one of our greatest sources of stress, it's imperative that the soul be involved in helping to choose healthy relationships.
     Remember the subconscious is like a small child and won't be able to see the repercussions of our involvement with each person. Just as a child sometimes gets caught up with the "wrong crowd," friends who exert a negative influence on them, so too, does our subconscious get swept away by its emotional response to a person instead of being able to think it through and clearly see how that person actually affects our life. And just as a parent must sometimes intervene for their child's welfare, so must the soul step in to help when our subconscious finds itself involved in a relationship that is not good for our well-being.
     So how do we determine what makes a healthy relationship? Since our overall objective is to add to our quality of life, we're looking for relationships that will support and enhance our growth.
     In terms of existing relationships, look first at those individuals you consider to be your closest; friends, family, co-workers. Although every relationship can be challenging at times, from an overall perspective, do you feel these are positive influences? Are they a constructive influence in your life, rather than destructive? Do you treat one another with respect and support each other's growth? Do you stimulate growth in one another? Are you able to communicate, sharing various points of view, even though they may differ from one another? Do you share in each other's joys and support one another during times of crisis or sorrow? Do you walk away, after having spent time with these individuals, feeling energized and enthusiastic, or are you often drained and weary?
     A healthy relationship generally tends to uplift us in some way whether it's the enjoyment of an interesting conversation that stimulates our own thinking, stories shared about our own personal life or life in general that add to our insights on how to move forward on our own path, or simply the joy that comes from spending time with someone we love and the happiness that brings.
     These are relationships we want to keep. For when we make a conscious effort to surround ourselves with people of our choice, our life takes on new meaning, rich with the benefits of rewarding, fulfilling relationships.
If we find relationships that are not working, we need to take a closer look at these, remembering to come from the soul's conscious perspective. Have we outgrown this relationship? Sometimes we may be compatible for a time, but at some point, one of the partners grows a little or moves in a different direction and we find we're no longer comfortable in that relationship. No one is at fault here, the relationship hasn't failed, it is simply the nature of our growth. Our relationships are like life excursions. We may take a leisurely train trip together, making frequent stops to enjoy the scenery and each other's company for a time, and then one partner decides to stay longer at a location while the other boards the train to continue their journey. We share our life path for a time, add to each other's growth and then move on. Some relationships will be with us our entire life, while others will not. But they will all have contributed to our growth.
     Sometimes we find ourselves in relationships that are hampering our growth or are actually destructive in our lives. In these cases, consulting a qualified counselor is always a good idea for we need an objective mediator to help us communicate and see if our differences can be worked out. The counselor can make invaluable suggestions to either help us heal this relationship or realize that we are not compatible and it will be in both partners best interest to separate. In these cases, since our subconscious is a creature of habit, you may meet with resistance at first, since the subconscious would rather hang on to what it's familiar with than risk what life will be like without that person. It is a fear of the unknown, but we must be patient and loving with our subconscious to help it through this change which will actually benefit our life.
     And remember when a relationship isn't working well in our life, it isn't working for the other person either. When we choose to let go of a relationship, we allow the other person the opportunity to find someone who will be more compatible in their life, someone who is better able to add further to their life experience. It also gives us the space and opportunity to do the same for ourselves.
     Sometimes it's a matter of the way we view a relationship that must be altered. For example, in the case of a young child who has become a challenge, we do not have the option to move away from this relationship. We have a responsibility to raise this child in a kind and compassionate way, motivated by our love rather than being swept away by our subconscious' emotional response to the situation. We must get conscious and come from the soul's point of view, remembering the child needs our discipline and guidance to learn what is acceptable behavior and what is not. We must be patient and use plenty of repetition, for this is the only way a child will learn a skill, whether it's learning to play the piano or learning a new way to behave. Both require our love, patience and repetition.
     The same applies to all relationships. We teach people how to treat us. We all deserve to be treated with kindness, love and compassion and when we come from a conscious, soul perspective, we are better able to communicate our own ideas as to what comprises a good relationship for us as well as communicate our subconscious' emotional needs.
We've only touched the surface on these important issues of communication and relationships, but we'll delve deeper into these subjects in future Monthly Inspirations. In the meantime, remember to check our upcoming schedule to join us for an Arche program to help you implement these concepts.
     Wishing you the joy of a life filled with healthy relationships!

SANDY DALIEGE