ASKING FOR HELP

     In June's Monthly Inspiration, we looked at handling life challenges from the soul's conscious point of view rather than the subconscious's emotional reaction to the problem, remembering that each challenge is actually an opportunity for us to grow. But one of the areas we hadn't mentioned, which may be important in handling a challenge, is our willingness to ask for help.
     Are you able to ask for help when you need it? I don't mean on a constant basis, as in becoming someone else's dependent, for as we reviewed last month, many of our problems can be resolved on our own. Instead, when you do find yourself in a situation that you can't handle alone, do you allow yourself to ask someone else for assistance? Asking for help may be a foreign concept to someone who's used to being independent, but it is sometimes necessary in order to resolve the issue and move forward. It can also be a part of our own growth experience, as well, to learn that it's okay to let someone else help us. And from a spiritual point of view, allowing someone else to help also gives them the opportunity to demonstrate their compassion.
     We may have been programmed in the past to believe that if we ask for help this indicates a sign of weakness, that we should be able to do it all on our own. This belief system is not accurate, especially in today's stressful times. Actually, the ability to ask for help demonstrates our strength when we're willing to acknowledge we can't do it all on our own, and be okay with that. We can still feel good about ourselves, even if we need help. The truth is, no one can do it all on their own anymore. And while we are able to handle most of our lives independently, everyone needs some help from time to time.      Since the soul's thinking ability is unlimited, we tend to be overachievers. Take a moment to think about the amount of ideas you can come up with in just one day. But we must keep in mind that it is our subconscious, our inner child, who actually carries out all our ideas, which can become overwhelming. As we've stated in the past, putting too many demands on our subconscious creates stress, which can then lead us into illness. To avoid this stress, we need to think carefully about which ideas we really want to follow through on and do so in a balanced way. When we have too much to accomplish, then we need to ask for help.
     Sometimes even everyday tasks we've been able to handle in the past have become a burden. There's nothing wrong with asking a friend to help us occasionally with housework, or mowing the lawn, or if we're financially able, to hire someone to help us with these jobs. But our subconscious may resist this idea, still thinking we should be able to do this all on our own. Why?
     We know it's okay to hire a mechanic to help us with our car maintenance or an accountant to help us file our taxes. But in our personal life, we often feel like we're on our own. Whereas independence is wonderful, being stubborn about what we're really capable of achieving actually limits us. We need to open our minds to new ways of managing our lives based on our current circumstances.
     If a friend is willing to help us resolve a problem, remind yourself to be flexible. Express your needs, but realize your friend may do things differently than you. The idea is to receive their assistance graciously, but at the same time remember that it is still your life and you do have a choice in how the matter will be handled. In other words, don't allow yourself to be bulldozed into something you're not comfortable with, simply because you've asked for help. You're asking for help with a particular situation, not signing your life away. It's okay to negotiate and make different suggestions. This is not being rude to your friend. It is helping us establish good, honest communication. Remember, we teach people how to treat us and this applies in all circumstances.
     Actually, negotiating for our best interests in life is always a good idea. The Director here at Arche, Rosita Rodriguez, puts it this way; "We don't get what we deserve. We get what we negotiate for." This is accurate. But it means we must know our value, acknowledge our worth and be willing to communicate and stand up for ourselves. Again, this may be a foreign concept if we've been programmed in the past to believe that "we're not worthy" or that we should take whatever's offered and be grateful. Each of us deserves to be acknowledged and compensated for our efforts, whether we're negotiating for a better job or sharing our thoughts in a relationship. In one instance a good salary with benefits may be the reward, while in the other scenario, good communication and a better relationship may be the result. Either way, it is a healthy way to live and adds to our quality of life. And keep in mind, asking for help from someone else does not diminish your value in any way. It just means we've finally given ourselves permission to take care of ourselves.
These ideas apply as well, if we're extending help to another person. We need good communication to discover what they need. Find out their concerns, considerations and anxieties and address those issues. This helps to put their mind at rest. It's also a good idea to consider their age when coming up with a solution. Something that may be helpful to a younger person may not be viable when dealing with an elderly person and we need to keep their age and any limitations in mind.      Finally, remind yourself to be patient. Sometimes our negative situation has been going on for a long time and we've only recently become aware of the stressfulness of the issue and our need to do something about it. Do not expect to "wave a magic wand" and immediately resolve the problem. Even if we're just hiring someone to mow our lawn, this will still take our time and effort as we research our choices. In this instance, one phone call may then resolve the issue. But quite often, we need help with other long-standing concerns that will require more thought to make a plan and will take more time and effort to follow through on our plan. We must remember that patience and repetition will help our subconscious let go of the stress as it begins to see we're receiving help. Even the initial act of reaching out for help can provide great comfort for our subconscious as it feels it no longer has to face this issue alone.
      So be kind to yourself and ask for help when it's necessary. Make a commitment to your own good health and well-being and join us for an upcoming program to allow us to help you make life better than ever.

SANDY DALIEGE

THE BLESSINGS OF A FRIEND

Like A Light Shining Bright In The Darkness,
A Friend Offers Their Love To All Around Them
Bringing Joy And Comfort To Their Lives.

Like Blessings From On High, Someone Appears In Our Lives
Who Stands Apart From The Rest Of The World.
Someone Who's Not Afraid To Make A Change
Or Stand Up For What They Believe In.
… Such Are The Blessings of A Friend.

Just As A Guardian Angel Offers
Protection And Shelter To Those In Need,
Many Are The Souls A Friend Takes Under Their Wing.

A Caring Smile,
A Warm Embrace,
A Comforting Thought,
A Genuine Concern,
Countless Are The Ways
A Friend Has The Courage To Show They Care.

Real Love Transcends All Time,
Breaking Through The Barriers Of Darkness.
This Is The Love That Never Dies.
Blessed Are The Lives Who Have Received This Gift From A Friend.

SANDY DALIEGE