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MAKE A COMMITMENT TO YOUR OWN LIFE
Have you realized that your
life is truly your own and you have the freedom to set your own schedule?
Activities based on what you're interested in or responsible for? Are
you able to remember that because it's your life, you can do what you
want to do? I often hear people complaining about how busy they are and,
as a result, how tired they are. But if they look closely at what they're
busy doing, it often has nothing to do with pursuing their own interests.
It's time to re-evaluate what we're spending our time on.
Time is very valuable, especially with the
stressful paced lives we've created. Therefore, we must get conscious
and look at what's demanding our attention so often and decide if we'd
really like to continue responding to these demands. Remember, we can
make different choices, which will result in different outcomes, including
more personal time for ourselves.
Often when I suggest that someone reduce
the amount of activities they've agreed to, time often committed to someone
else's life instead of their own, they say they can't. Really? Is this
accurate? If you make yourself sick because you're doing too much, who
will take over these extra activities?
I'm not talking about work, which is part
of our life responsibility that we must continue. Of course even where
work is concerned, we must keep in mind that it is not acceptable to be
a workaholic. But what about the rest of your time, your personal time
which should be just that - personal. Are you putting yourself first,
being a good caretaker of your subconscious, providing rest and enjoyment,
good food and exercise and an overall environment to promote good health
and well-being? Or are you still taking on everyone else's problems, seeking
to fix them when you really are too tired to do even one more thing? Remember,
our subconscious is a creature of habit who will continue doing what we've
always done, until we get conscious and make a change. Taking care of
yourself first is not selfish, it is healthy and it is the only way we
will enrich our own quality of life.
All too often we are still responding to
some old programming that we received in the past from an authority figure.
If our mother or a teacher or even a religion told us in varying ways
that we must help others, and we should not think about ourselves, or
that being idle is bad, our subconscious is still living according to
these ideas. As with all things, we must have a balance. Help when you're
able, but remind yourself that it's okay to say "no" when you can't. Realize
that thinking about yourself is not wrong, it is actually a good idea
and we would all be a lot healthier if we were more considerate to ourselves.
And being idle is often a very good idea, especially if we've been overworking.
Remember, as adults, we have the power to
choose what we want to do with our lives, including how we schedule our
personal time. No one is looking over our shoulder telling us, we're "doing
it wrong." Or if they are, we need to remind them that it's our life and
we've given ourselves permission to do it this way.
I spoke with a woman who recently retired
who confided that she was weary, because she was so busy. She said she
didn't understand since she'd always heard that when you retired you got
to be a "lady of leisure." When I asked her what was taking up so much
of her time, she said she had inherited her Mother's possessions which
she had stored in her basement and now she had to go through and evaluate
what to keep, etc. She did not have a time limit on this, no one was waiting
for her to complete this project, but she felt she couldn't rest until
she had this done. I suggested she change her mindset and give herself
permission to take her time. Instead of working hours on this everyday,
plan on spending a few hours every morning, and then schedule the rest
of the day for enjoyable activities for herself. She started to smile,
finally seeing an end to the stress she had been putting herself through.
She even suggested setting a timer in the basement as a helpful reminder,
so that she would remember to stop at a certain time. This was such a
simple idea, but it made such a difference.
We must also remember that when we do schedule
time for ourselves, that we let everything else go, all our worries, our
concerns, and simply enjoy our time. I know this is not easy to do, but
it is important and with enough repetition, our subconscious will learn
to let go and relax.
For example, I was sitting by a pool with
a friend who had taken the week off from work. It was a beautiful day
and as we relaxed in this tranquil setting, I listened to my friend voice
her concerns over all her friends' problems and then share a few of her
own. I could envision all these other people crowding around the pool
deck, clamoring for her attention. And they had it. Instead of enjoying
her vacation time, she was carrying everyone's stress with her, as well
as her own. It's time to "clear the deck" in our lives.
Concern and compassion for others is a form
of our expression of love for our friends, but worrying about their problems
does nothing to resolve the issue. It just creates more stress for ourselves.
Again, help when you're able to provide a solution, or simply send your
friend a loving thought, but then remind your subconscious to let it go.
Don't dwell on it.
As for your own stressful issues, sharing
your problems with a friend can be constructive if you're able to then
let them go, or if they're able to help you come up with a solution. However,
remember that simply dwelling on a problem over and over again does nothing
to change it. Most often we need to get conscious and from the soul's
perspective, make a plan on how we can change the situation. Our plan
may take some time before we see a difference, but in the meantime, we
must remind our subconscious that we're doing something to make life better
and to let it go.
So make a commitment to your own life and
make the changes necessary to help yourself. Our Arche courses are designed
to help you put these ideas into action with additional information and
effective techniques to make it easier to handle life challenges and improve
the quality of life. Check our schedule and join us for an upcoming program.
Wishing you the fulfillment of following
your own true, life path!
SANDY DALIEGE
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