THE MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP

     Establishing a relationship with yourself is the first step to attracting healthy relationships with others. This may sound odd at first and yet we've heard it expressed in many ways. "You have to learn to love yourself," has become a fairly common statement among self-help groups. But I think it's more accurate to say, "You have to get to know yourself," first, for only then do you begin to see those qualities within that are already deserving of love and how much more you have to offer that can be brought forth. For each of us is an incredibly unique gift to the world.
     Now I know that statement will meet with resistance and yet, that's exactly what each of us contributes to the planet; our own unique style. Just as all of nature demonstrates its own individual expression, so too can we. The mountain is magnificent, the flower is beautiful, but neither one tries to imitate the other. Unfortunately people do, limiting themselves in their attempts to "fit in", according to someone else's ideas. We are shortchanging our lives and the world when we don't allow our unique thinking and talents to express.
     So how do we bring out this individual expression?
     It starts with the soul pursuing its path of spiritual self-realization. This is a process that can be aided through the practice of meditation. The soul seeks to understand its relationship with its highest spiritual essence and pursue its spiritual purpose.
     Developing this relationship will quench the soul's yearning, for it now has access to understanding and expressing all its spiritual attributes. Divine Wisdom, Divine Insights, Divine Inspiration, Guidance, Peace, Love, Power and Joy are such examples.
     When people search for a "soul-mate", that relationship with someone else that will make their life complete, it is actually this inner relationship with our own Highest Essence that the soul most longs for and passionately misses. By establishing this inner relationship first, the soul now has much more to offer to an outside relationship. For we begin to feel centered and complete, comfortable with who we are, willing to explore more of our own creativity and individual expression and we approach life from a greater foundation of serenity, strength and purpose. In short, we become a more interesting person.
     Now the soul can use its consciousness in two ways; to continue our own spiritual awakening and also to improve the quality of daily life by directing our subconscious. For our subconscious is an important factor in establishing our own unique expression.
     To begin this process with the subconscious, start by looking at your own talents and strengths. What skills or positive character traits do you already exhibit? What are you good at? What do you do well? What kind of person are you? Make yourself a list of all your positive qualities.
     You may meet with some resistance on this at first for it may be a foreign concept. We have a tendency to focus on only the negative, what we're not doing or what we feel we're doing wrong.
Be objective in your assessment. Imagine if you were asked to help someone else list their good qualities and come from that focal point when you're observing yourself.
     Learn to be your own best friend. Remember the subconscious is the inner child and when all we do is criticize ourselves, this becomes very self-defeating. It's like constantly scolding a child, but forgetting the importance of love. We do need to change behaviors we don't like in ourselves, but we can do this in a constructive, instead of destructive manner. Besides, there will always be someone to point out what we're doing wrong. We need to balance this with acknowledging what we're already accomplishing.
     Pay attention throughout your day and be sure to praise your subconscious for positive behavior. Did you handle a challenging phone call or encounter with a co-worker well? Did you complete a project at work or home or follow through on an exercise session? Did you just have a really good day? All of these are deserving of praise. Praise is a great motivator and can be very helpful in developing healthy self-esteem in ourselves as well as others. It also helps us to become more independent for our subconscious looks to the soul for positive input and guidance instead of being hampered by someone else's negative opinion.
     Finally, remember this is a process. If we've been told all our life to focus mainly on all the things we're doing wrong, it will take patience, repetition and love to reprogram our subconscious and help it heal the emotional damage that may have occurred as a result. Our objective is not to ignore the negative, but rather to focus on the positive, build on those strengths, develop healthy habits and let go of our negative way of thinking.
     So make time for the most important relationship in your life; the one within. We'll have suggestions on establishing healthy relationships with others in future Monthly Inspirations. In the meantime, discover the best in yourself and allow it to express. Join us for our one-day Meditation Retreat, an 8-session Spiritual Awareness Course or Stress Care Clinic. You'll learn further information and specific techniques to help you create your most fulfilling life.
     Wishing you a life enriched by the wealth of your own individual expression!

SANDY DALIEGE

Perfection …
…Simple
…Pure
…Innocent
…Unblemished.
Perfection is a simple expression.

Unveil Your Vision.
God's Splendor Surrounds Us;
The Radiance of a Newborn Baby,
The Wildflowers in the Meadow,
The Mountains on the Horizon,
The Smile of a Friend,
The Waves on the Shoreline,
The Forests of the World.
Some delicate, others Majestic,
Some Powerful, others quiet,
Residing Deep Within the Stillness of their Being.
But All Ring Forth God's Joyful Presence to the World.

Perfection without a struggle …
…Why do We make it so hard?

Simply BE …
…That which you were Created to BE.

Nothing more … And nothing less.

SANDY DALIEGE